Dear Meredith, I love you with all my heart and soul.
You have stood by me for three years and supported me through some of the most challenging times of my life and yes you were right. In all that time from when we first entered into a loving personal relationship together I never acknowledged you publicly as my love and my partner.
In the last seven or so months I withdrew from you completely and in our personal space I almost treated you like you didn’t exist. It got so bad that you eventually had no choice but to just give up, nobody deserves that and especially not someone who has been so good and kind and so unconditionally loving.
It breaks my heart that when I suddenly realise in truth, and it comes crashing down on me like a ton of bricks, what I have done by drawing into my shell like a tortoise and just shutting down and telling you time and time again that it was over, and that as a consequence I may well have lost you, I feel completely helpless ashamed exposed and a complete fool and an idiot.
Nothing I can do can change how i treated you but I can still show you that I am man enough to own it and that I can change and become a better man.
So everybody this is Meredith who I love very much and who was until quite recently my kind and loving partner. She has been my rock and has tolerated more shit from me than anyone else in my life and I am a fool and an idiot for not realising it until the last couple of weeks and it has now of course just hit me like a phucking Mac Truck! Which I of course completely deserve.
Meredith, I have decided to do anything I can to win your trust in me and for you to know that I do really love you and I am not afraid to say it or share it publicly and that at least this is something tangible that most certainly just changed, thereby creating some hope that I might just still have a chance with you.
xxx Paul
Some Memories
